Discipline and Your Child Part One

By Janet V. Johnson, MD

Loving Care Pediatrics

More Family/Primary Care Articles

Discipline and Your Child Part One

Whatever the child's age it is important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. If the adult does not stick to the rules and consequences that have been set up, then the children aren't likely to either.

Ages 0-2

Babies and toddlers are curious by nature. Elimination of the temptations and the no-no items from the start are a wise idea, they should be kept well out of reach. When a crawling baby or roving toddler is on the move toward an unacceptable or dangerous play object, calmly say “No” and either remove the child from the area or distract them with an appropriate activity.

Timeouts can be effective discipline for toddlers. Hitting, biting, spitting and kicking are all unacceptable behaviors. A child who engages in them should be told why the behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area.

It is important to not spank, hit or slap a child of any age. Babies and toddlers especially are unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and the physical punishment. They only feel the pain of the hit.

Ages 3-5

As a child grows they begin to understand that there is a connection between their actions and the consequences they may cause. So it is important to communicate the family rules. Explain your expectations regarding their behavior prior to punishing them for a particular behavior. If there is a no coloring on the walls rule, explain this to your child when you give them the new crayons or paint set. Discuss why it is not allowed and what will happen if they do mark up the walls (they must help clean up the wall and they are not able to use the crayons or paint for the remainder of the day). It is important to establish rules and let your child know they are expected to listen or accept the consequences.

Always be consistent it is the key to effective discipline. Make a decision on what the rules are and then uphold them. Remember to be clear on what behaviors will be punished, but also remember to praise and reward good behaviors.

Teaching children how to control misbehavior with the use of a chart with boxes for each day of the week can be a helpful tool. The chart can be posted on a wall or refrigerator where they can visually track the good and unacceptable behaviors every day. This will give you and your child a concrete look of how they are doing regarding their behavior.

Discipline should not only be about punishment, but also about recognizing good behavior. Timeouts can also work well with this age group, allowing the child to think about how they have behaved. Experts say one minute for each year of age is a good rule of thumb; while others recommend using the timeout until the child is calmed down to teach self-regulation.

Next month's article will continue to review discipline tips for older age groups.