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The following article was published in Your Health Magazine. Our mission is to empower people to live healthier.
Kathi Whitten, LCSW
Is Your Anger Getting You In Trouble?
No. VA Psychotherapy Associates
. http://www.kathiwhitten.com/

Is Your Anger Getting You In Trouble?

Sometimes people believe anger has to be harsh, loud, punishing, blaming or attacking, because that's how they've experienced it in the past. However, anger doesn't have to be so intense or hurtful.

Anger is bodily sensations-our bodies tighten and contract, sometimes stomach or teeth clench. It's also an emotion and a set of thoughts. It's our current view of a circumstance that triggers anger. In the clutch of the feelings, it can be hard to realize that our viewpoint may not be the only (accurate) one, because intense emotion makes such reasoning difficult.

During our lifetime, we've inadvertently had some forms of anger expression reinforced more than others (depending upon the responses of those around us). Some people learned to yell and shout, others to hit, while others stuffed it inside and felt miserable in private.

Assuming people are born with different temperaments-some calm, others more easily aroused-the expression of anger is still largely acquired habit. With some effort, people can learn to convert ineffective or explosive anger into something helpful and productive. Finding ways to communicate anger without threatening others, or leaving them feeling defensive, is a skill that can be acquired.

Some conditions make anger worse alcohol/drugs, depression/anxiety, or poor coping skills. People who feel trapped, misunderstood or defensive sometimes use anger to manage other, underlying feelings. Anger can also be used as a form of power or coercion-something often seen in domestic abuse situations.

Most anger, though, is the garden variety– everyday frustrations and obstacles. If we use anger wisely, it can guide us through conflicts and situations that seem to block our way to things. However, anyone who experiences unremitting anger, chronic anger, helpless/futile anger, or explosive and sometimes violent forms of anger, needs help in learning better ways to manage situations. Anger is something that, when used well, helps situations improve. But when it is ineffectual or even hurtful to one's self or others, it is putting people at risk physically, emotionally, and in relationships.

Psychotherapy is a good place to work on anger issues. You can explore what triggers your anger, and learn more skillful ways to manage it. If you feel you're having anger problems (either anger overpowers you, or you are getting feedback from others that your anger hurts them), consider an evaluation for therapy to help you learn new methods of handling it.

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