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The following article was published in Your Health Magazine. Our mission is to empower people to live healthier.
Terry Douglas, Maryland Elder Law Attorney
Who Will Care For You When You Can't?
Douglas Law Office

Who Will Care For You When You Can't?

As the holiday season begins, will your family get together? Chances are that your children live quite a distance from you, and they visit once or twice a year during the holidays. They may comment that you've changed, or that they are worried about your health.

You may have lost weight because you don't have the time or energy to make nutritious home cooked meals, bills and other unopened mail may have piled up, or the house is becoming cluttered while you care for a loved one.

Few things in life cause more stress than a decline of health, loss of money, or managing the dynamics of family relationships.

Certainly, no one wants to be a burden. During these trying times, be mindful of the 3 As

Awarenessthat we will grow old.

Acknowledgementthat we may need help with daily activities.

Acceptancethat we can age with dignity.

While you are alive and well, you make your own decisions on what to eat, how to spend your money, and your medical care. There's a saying “Once a Man, Twice A Baby.”

As we age, we tend to lose control and our independence. Will you move in with your children? Will the role of parent and child be reversed?

What Will You Do?

If mom gets sick, who will care for dad? The local child thinks an assisted living facility would be safer and provide better care. And your out-of-state child wants you to use your income and savings to hire around-the-clock home health care aides so you can stay at home.

How will they pay for that care? One spouse requires assisted living care and the other spouse continues to live in the family home. Neither spouse wants to think about nursing home placement. After several years of paying privately for assisted living care, they have spent almost all of their life savings. Now, how will the healthy spouse avoid total financial ruin?

The spouse who handles the money and writes the checks dies. The surviving spouse is now left with handling the money, something he or she has never done. Now, who pays the bills?

Growing old is not all doom and gloom. Resources are available, and you can plan your future now. With an action plan, you choose how you live your life in case of disability or incapacity, and you can avoid costly mistakes.

The first step is to have a conversation with your loved ones. While you're spending time with your family over the holidays, take a moment to have that talk.

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