Peace, Love And Conflict? Marriage and Heart Disease

By Deborah Lewis Harris, PhD

Dr. Deborah Lewis-Harris, PhD

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Peace, Love And Conflict? Marriage and Heart Disease

When a person faces interactions, situations or events where the demands go beyond the ability to cope, this can result in increases in blood pressure, cholesterol, heart rate, and blood sugar While there are many kinds of stressful situations that lead to illness, stressors in marital/couples relationships are primary predictors of illness.

The institution of marriage is in a state of crisis. The divorce rate has approached 50%, often occurring during the first seven years. Unhappy marriage can increase illness by roughly 35% and shortens one's life by approximately four years. Couples in gay and lesbian relationships, heterosexual couples who elect not to marry, and an undetermined number of couples who “suffer in silence” further add to these statistics.

What, then, is the correlation of marriage with the onset of heart disease? One study reported that “those in a worrisome or demanding relationship with a spouse or a partner were associated with more than a 3.5-fold increase in angina risk.” Those reporting frequent arguments with a partner had a 44% increase in angina risk. Researchers have known that marital dissatisfaction can suppress the function of the immune system and lower the system's ability to fight illness.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Couples Institute in Seattle, Washington have identified four communication styles which characterize difficult relationships

1) Criticism which is pervasive and non-ending.

2) Contempt, when either one or both individuals has so much negativity towards the other, it simmers for long periods, often turning into intense anger. This communication pattern most directly relates to the onset of physical symptoms and illness.

3) Defensiveness, which is often a reaction of one spouse to his/her partner's criticism and

4) Stonewalling or the tendency to disengage from interactions with the spouse, In their laboratory, the Gottmans demonstrated a negative change in physiological reactions, such as heart rate and blood pressure.

What are solutions to this couples crisis? First, we must accept the mind-body connection. Difficulties that occur in relationships must be recognized and discussed, preferably before a marriage or relationship takes place or certainly as soon as there is awareness. Couples treatment by a professional certified in marital and family therapy, who is knowledgeable of medical, psychological, and for many couples, spiritual issues, may an important step. Recognition and taking direct actions will be key to developing and maintaining a healthy relationship, avoiding the potentially devastating impact of illness.