More Complementary & Integrative Healthcare Articles
The Need To Grieve May Not Be Apparent
At various times in life, everyone will endure losses. We'll lose people we love and care about through death, divorce or relationships ending for other reasons. We may lose a job, our kids will grow up and move away, we'll eventually retire. These are transitional times we understand, even though they may be painful. These are also times that usually involve concerned others, who make themselves available as support while we cope with the change.
There are other kinds of losses in life that are often more silent. They are often emotionally carried without as much support from others. These might be situations such as loss of one's health, loss of a lifestyle, loss of a location (such as transfer to a new place for a job), loss of the secure environment of school when one moves into the world, loss of the ability to realize a long-held dream.
There are even more subtle losses loss of “face” in an argument, loss of the comfort of an addictive behavior, losses we cope with internally in the face of a great disappointment or various life changes. Even happy changes can bring about a sense of loss such as when a new baby brings joy and also a sense that one's life will be less free. A job promotion with all its pride, may mean the loss of an easier camaraderie previously enjoyed with colleagues.
There seem to be common elements in most situations of loss, whether we find ourselves without a beloved person, familiar situation or comforting behavior. Most people know that grief may go through several different phases, such as denial, shock, depression, acceptance (among others). Society has ways of helping people grieve certain major losses, such as the death of a loved one, while paying less attention to the impact of others.
Because there tends to be a sense that for some kinds of losses one must find the fortitude to just muster through them somehow, people may find themselves feeling inwardly adrift, not always even recognizing what is causing them to feel unsettled. People may not connect a feeling of unease, irritability, depression or isolation with events they are going through. Those around may notice the effects without understanding what causes them.
If you are having difficulty coming to terms with a loss of any kind, therapy can be helpful in re-establishing emotional equilibrium.
